Maractus And Mr Krabs' Sexy Fun Time
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: This is completely /vp/'s fault, because lord of mercy, I actually didn't think this up. Some guys wanted Maractus with someone, and some guy suggested Mr. Krabs... yes, it's as weird as it sounds. Crack pairings, ahoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Maractus And Mr. Krabs' Sexy Fun Time**

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: While surfing on /vp/ as usual, I found a Maractus thread. Maractus became one of my favorite Gen 5 Pokemon. And then, out of the blue in that particular thread... "Someone should draw Maractus with Mr. Krabs." Wat. It was too hilarious to not do it, so I figured, what the hell, I'll bite. A very odd pairing. I don't know why, but maybe Mr. Krabs has a thing for Maractus because she's green and she reminds him of money... yeah, I got nothing. Just read and enjoy, guys.

Cause I know that /vp/ will. Oh lordy.

Disclaimer: Maractus belongs to Nintendo and GameFREAK. Mr. Krabs belongs to himself.

* * *

It was a dark, stormy night, out in the rough, open ocean. Inside an empty pirate ship, within the captain's quarters, where a humanoid red crab and a green feminine cactus. This would be a shock to anyone who would find out about this, as these strange lovers were Eugene H. Krabs and Maractus.

"Oh Mr. Krabs... you're so great and sweaty..." Maractus admitted as she giggled, having crab cum all over her head.

Mr. Krabs chuckled as he kissed Maractus' top right part. "Aye, me lass. These fine pincers of mine get the job done quite nicely. Arr arr arr." He lifted his left pincer, pincing the air, much to maractus' delight.

"Oh... would you pound me some more?" Maractus pleaded as she bent over, showing her beautiful shaped butt.

Mr. Krabs' eyes lit up as his crustacean penis became erected like the Empire State Building. "I'd be delighted."

Little did Maractus realize that Mr. Krabs was quite the crustacean. Despite their previous session of sex, the two were still fiesty, an this time, things would be fiestier. Pounding his iron like chest,Eugene H. Krabs went straight to work, sticking his penis into Maractus' vagina. It was weird for a humanoid crab to be doing a living cactus, but regardless, the sensation was awesome. Maractus squealed with delight as her arms were on the wall, bending over for Mr. Krabs as he pushed in and out as smooth as he could. Maractus started to drool as her eyes began forming tears, tears of sweetness and joy. Mr. Krabs continued going in and out, being like a huge smooth wave followed by small rough ones. Maractus held her stomach as Mr. Krabs slowly pushed out, then roughly back in, then slowly back out... slow but carefully... and then with a chuckle, he jacked in her vagina as quick as he could. Maractus screamed in pain and joy as she screamed for Mr. Krabs to cum inside her. Being the money loving bastard that he truly was, Mr. Krabs ejected his crustacean cum into Maractus, both of them sighing of relief as Mr. Krabs then pulled his penis out, which was very sore from all the pulling.

"Hey Mr. Krabs... I have one good question to ask you." Maractus asked as she held Mr. Krabs in her arms, both of them sitting down on the captain's chair.

Mr. Krabs laughed as he sighed, lowering his eyes. "Yes, my sweet little cactus love?"

"How did you find me? Or at least hear of me?" Maractus asked as she raised her right arm.

Mr. Krabs laughed heartily as he placed his right pincer around Maractus. "Oh, Maractus. Let me tell you... it was a funny coincidence..."

* * *

Several flashbacks ago, Mr. Krabs can be seen kissing all of his green colored dollar bills, all alone in his office with green bills everywhere. Squidward entered the office, walking towards Mr. Krabs, as he felt like saying something.

"Mr. Krabs, you have got to do something with Spongebob!" Squidward demanded as he slapped the table, obviously infuriated. "If I hear one more giggle out of that yellow freak show..."

Mr. Krabs gawked as he flipped over his chair. "What's wrong with the lass now? He's not making me more money?" He asked as he got back up.

Squidward shook with rage. "Worse than that! He keeps playing Pokemon while making patties!" He slapped his hat down on the table. "So unless you find a way around this, I'm out for the day."

Mr. Krabs gawked as Squidward left. "Wait! Squidward!" The door slamming shut, Mr. Krabs sighed as he shook his head. "Ugh, I gotta do something..." He then took the other door and went into the kitchen, spotting Spongebob playing a yellow DS lite. "Spongebob!"

Spongebob screamed as he fell on his butt, caught off guard by Mr. Krabs. "Whoa hey, Eugene! You gotta not do that on me!"

Mr. Krabs sighed as he scuttled over to Spongebob. "Listen, me bucko. You can't just be playin' while yer workin'. Its just not complementary to your duty, boy."

Spongebob frowned. "But... Mr. Krabs... I like playing Pokemon!" He then showed his DS lite to Mr. Krabs. "It even has something that you like!"

Mr. Krabs gasped, his eyes widening, as he pushed Spongebob aside and picked up the DS lite. The Pokemon he was looking at was Maractus, which despite being a cactus, somehow reminded him of money. Screaming in joy, Mr. Krabs rushed off, dropping the DS lite, as he splashed into his tub full of money.

"Aye, I think I finally found me a new mate," Mr. Krabs stated to himself as he written a memo in his private diary. "I gotta finds me whatever this 'Maractus' is, and make her mine!"

* * *

Cut back to the present day, both Mr. Krabs and Maractus laugh as they briefly glance at the ceiling, and then back at each other.

"Well, Mr. Krabs... I have to say, you definitely are the best guy I found to get it on," Maractus admitted as she giggled, waving her left hand at Mr. Krabs. "It was a pleasure getting pleasure from you."

Mr. Krabs raised his eyebrows as he chortled. "Don't worry 'bout it, lass. I enjoyed doing ya." And the two continued laughing as the ship sailed out further, heading westward as thunder boomed and lightning struck, surprisingly not hitting the ship at all.

**Well... Ummm... I Don't Want To End It, Because This Is So Fucking Awkward It Could Continue... So Yeah... Thanks A Lot, /vp/...**


	2. Chapter 2

_PS: This is actually on land, but since it's in a, shall we say, different dimension, anything could happen. So there ya go. Enjoy, you crazy people, you._

* * *

Mr. Krabs tuned to Maractus, grinning. "Hey Maractus. Did you remember the first time we fucked?"

Maractus stared oddly at Mr. Krabs as she got up from the bed. "Eugene, that was three hours ago..."

"I know, but..." Mr. Krabs shrugged as he sheepishly smiled, "It was so good that I engraved it freshly in my memory."

Maractus sighed as she began retracing her memory of it. "Well, if you want to get that technical..."

* * *

Flash back to a few hours ago, where on the dock of the pirate ship, Mr. Krabs met Maractus, through an elaborate twist of fate that... urrr... too lazy to describe.

"So... I'm Mr. Krabs... but you can call me... Eugene." Mr. Krabs started as he kissed Maractus' right arm.

Maractus giggled as she slightly blushed. "Eugene...that's a special name..." She gulped as she rubbed the back of her head.

Mr. Krabs took a bow. "On me name and for all I stands for, I happily accept making love to you."

Maractus gasped as she placed her hands on her face, her mouth gaping. "But... Mr. Krabs... are you sure you want to?"

Mr. Krabs chuckled as he wrapped his right, red colored pincer around Maractus, heading into the captain's quarters. "Let's just let all the action do all the talking..."

Maractus was slightly nervous, but she gulped again, agreeing to Mr. Krabs' terms. "Whatever you say, Eugene..."

Now nice and alone in the captain's quarters, Mr. Krabs shredded his clothes as Maractus got on the bed, bending over for Mr. Krabs. Despite being old, Mr. Krabs was capable of popping a boner, as his red crustacean penis stuck out like a sharp pointed knife. Maractus giggled with glee as she smoothly touched it, her yellow spikes on her hand making Mr. Krabs' penis become even harder. Mr. Krabs gasped in joy as he watched Maractus insert his crustacean penis into her mouth. Maractus' eyes became widened as she felt the crab cum enter her mouth, which tasted like Krabby Patties. Maractus looked up at Mr. Krabs, whose eyebrows moved up and down. A faint smile could be seen on Maractus' face.


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. Krabs was in the process of opening a jar filled with green dollar bills. Maractus noticed this and came over.

"Need some help, Eugene?" Maractus asked as she winked, touching Mr. Krabs' precious booty. "Yoink! Got yer butt, poopsy!"

Mr. Krabs whistled as he flew up in joy, landing right behind Maractus. His pincers snapped as he gained an erection, pinching Maractus in the butt.

"Aye, me booty may be fine, but yours is finer than the seven seas!" Mr. Krabs laughed as he flexed his crustacean muscles. "Here I come, Ms. Maractus!"

Maractus giggled naughtily as Mr. Krabs pounced on her, stripping off his clothes as Plankton looked from underneath the bed, recording it for his own pleasure as a shit eating grin appeared on his tiny green face, while Mr. Krabs and Maractus continued getting it on.


End file.
